Soccer Goals Safari

With the 2010 World Cup in South Africa near to its conclusion, one of the prominent stories of the tournament was the choice of soccer ball used . Many of the goalkeepers despised it, saying it was really hard to get used to, and judging by the goals scored past some of these allegedly world class keepers, maybe some of them never did. And yes, I’m thinking of Rob Green and also the Algerian keeper in the other opening match in Group 3, both of whom let in goals that they would have saved 99% of the time, from very tame shots. Maybe, as Adidas said about their World Cup Official ball, it was the roundest ball ever, this Jabulani thing. I thought all soccer balls were supposed to be round – well, spherical to be precise.

Although the majority of keepers said the ball was so bad it was impossible to play with, we might be forgiven for thinking that offers advantages to strikers. A huge festival of brilliant goals? Well, apparently not, as the early group stages of the tournament were mind numbingly boring. I mean they were dreadful. And as the competition marched on, all the big name players failed to realise their potential. So called greats launching free kicks 50 yards into the air, when we are accustomed to seeing them swing the ball around the wall to curl devilishly and burst the net past the sprawling keeper. Most of the creme de la creme of international football ended up skulking home with their tails between their legs, few with any soccer goals in their 2010 accounts. So did the Jabulani make the goals bigger, leaving goalies looking decidedly foolish? Or was the handicap of the super-designed, ultra-tested globe of doom felt by all?

Germany had been playing with the Adidas Jabulani for six months prior to the World Cup Finals, so they should have had no excuses. And to be fair, they made it to the semi-finals. You can only ever blame the ball for so long; once you’re down to the last four, you’re going to get dumped out by a great team.

Speaking as an England fan, I think one of the great winners of this summer’s campaign was the USA. A real coming of age for their soccer team, although of course, many do play in leagues outside the States. The question is, would this state of affairs have been any different with a better loved football than the Jabulani? I rather suspect the England keeper against USA wished it was the “Jumanji” and he could shout it out and get the ball sucked back out of the net, and pretend that nightmare had never happened! Looks instead like the life has now been sucked out of his England career. Oh well.

Shall we go through the spec of the ball and see what all the fuss is about? Lots of science went into it. It’s all really space age and vorsprung and technik. Yeah, alright; let’s not bother then! Let’s see what ordinary punters think about the Jabulani.

As you might expect, the views from customers buying the Adidas World Cup 2010 Official Match Soccer Ball were fairly polarised. A couple of people who bought it and play recreational soccer quite a lot think it’s great; a bit more bouncy than you’d expect perhaps, but not ridiculously bouncy. It is good for dribbling and ground passing, but some find the ball feels quite light – maybe that’s why the pros were kicking free kicks into the stratosphere!

The funniest review on Amazon was by somebody calling himself Robert Green (surely not; it’s not the Rob…; nah, can’t be…can it?). Anyway, funny story, he doesn’t like the ball, and here’s some of what our man Rob (Goalkeeper extraordinaire) has to say about it:

I am like the third best goalkeeper in England and I can’t even stop this thing. A buddy of mine kicked a slow roller to me and I completely muffed it in front of billions of people. Now people in my country will never forgive me for this. And it wasn’t even my fault! IT WAS THE BALL!

But if you’re American, just imagine owning one and basking in it’s bouncy, super-spherical, light and airy glory. Hmmmmmmmmm. Got us past the group stages, baby!